“My Children’s Smiles Are My Guiding Light.” René* Shares About Fatherhood In Migration.

“Who could have told me a few years ago that I would be the father of four beautiful children? I wouldn’t have believed it. Life changes when there are little ones depending on you. By fate, I’ve had to be both father and mother. Honestly, life hasn’t been very kind to us, but here we are, standing tall and strong. My children are my whole world now.”

René* was born in Zacatecas and lived most of his life in the State of Mexico. He is the father of three girls and one boy.

“A while ago, the mother of my children decided to take a different path and left them in my brother’s care. As soon as I found out, I decided to take care of them personally. They are not to blame for the decisions of us adults,” Rene says.

“I don’t want to be put on a pedestal, nor do I consider myself a super dad, as a lady once told me. I’m just a father who is aware of his responsibility. I love my children and I want what’s best for them.

I remember when the threatening calls demanding money began. Nights were hardest. I could hear my children crying and had to tend to them while carrying the stress of figuring out how to keep us safe. The cartel members knew I would do anything for my children. They took advantage of that. I cannot describe to you the feeling of desperation that washed over me when the cartel members called me, described my children’s school, and told me exactly what they were wearing that day before threatening us.

Getting ready to flee wasn’t easy. Pulling them out of school, separating them from their teachers and friends, even from family, tore us apart. No one in our family knows where we are. We’re like ghosts. It was the only way I could make sure the cartels couldn’t find us again. It has been excruciating, but my drive to keep them safe is stronger than the pain of uprooting them. But it’s extremely hard on them. They’re just kids – innocent. They don’t understand what was happening, or why.

I come from a working family. My parents taught me to be humble and strong. But I would be lying if I said that I always feel strong. There are days when I look back and imagine what our life could have been like. But as they say, ‘what if’ doesn’t exist.’

I know I owe a debt to God. He protected us and heard my prayers. That’s why we managed to get here. So many things have happened to us that I prefer not to even remember or talk about them. Yet no matter what we experienced, my wish is that I would be hurt a thousand times rather than have someone touch a single hair on my children’s heads.

On the darkest days, their smiles are my guiding light. I ask God to always bless them and that His protection always be with them. Despite everything, I feel proud. I’ve been the best father I could be.

Today, living through so much uncertainty and pain firsthand, my faith has strengthened. I don’t regret my decisions because I never made them thinking of myself, but of them. I believe in Almighty God and hope that His mercy is so great that He allows me to stay in this world to see my children grow up happy.”